Uniqueness?

I recently rethought my belief about us all being one because it was becoming more evident to me that some of us like myself can be quite different and even unique, but in light of this I still have reasons to stand by my belief.  For me it’s as simple as knowing first that, all things including every one of us are made up of the same stuff, but we have something that separates us from those things called genes.  And second that we have a variety of these genes and they dictate many things about us.  The reason we are different or unique is because there are so many different varieties of genes and combination’s of genes and some haven’t even been discovered yet!  However, this is also why we are all the same. Now if I have confused you, it wasn’t my intention and I will admit this “we’re all one” thing can be hard to digest and understand.  But if we have faith that there is some kind of God that created life and the Universe for a reason, then it makes sense that there is a reason why we’re all created from the same “stuff,” and all given these genes. It’s estimated that 50 percent of our genes are passed down from generation to generation and can indeed make us different and unique. I do believe however, that we don’t have to be a product of our genes if some of them make us negative and unable to cope with life.  I wrote in my book that I slowly changed who I was through my sobriety by trying to be a better person than I was before, but it was really done through my thought processes. When I began thinking differently about myself and life I began acting differently and today although I don’t think I’m unique I can say I am a different person than I was before. I’m also quite different from a lot of people I meet and this makes me feel good about myself.  Not better, but different. It’s when we are different or unique because we have grown and are still growing spiritually and as a person that we can find happiness in life and with ourselves, but not when we try to be something we’re not. I see too much of this today in our celebrities and some of the people I meet and I know from experience that trying to be something we’re not will never make us truly happy. This begs the question though “who are we then?” Well we’re all one, but different and sometimes even unique in our talents and looks. And I believe part of whatever created us.  A creator I call God, that created life and the Universe for a reason and gave us the ability to change who we are anytime we want or need to for the better, and be happy with who we are as a result.

What the world needs now is love sweet love!

Something that still frustrates me today, is how some people can be so close minded when it comes to gay people. No one can deny that we’re all made up of the same stuff and that whatever created this Universe and life must have had a reason for why we’re “all” here. I personally believe it is to grow both spiritually and as a person, but it certainly doesn’t sound like someone is growing when they don’t at least try and understand other people and see there can be good in that person no matter what their sexual preferences are.  I personally try to understand others and not only try and see the good in all people, but to love the good I find in them. Now in all honesty I may not be able to truly love all people and there are actually some people I simply don’t like.  But I refuse to hate anyone. Hatred consumes us and prevents us from growing spiritually.  I don’t think everyone who is against a gay life style hates gay people,  but many do seem consumed with anger over it and this also stops our spiritual growth. I believe love really is the universal language and if there was ever a time when we needed more of it, I would say it’s now.

“Love Sweet Love”

Book Signings!

My book signing at the Borders in Harrisburg yesterday went well.  Not because of the books I sold, but because of the people I met there. My love goes out to them and the people in their life who are going through the aftermath of drug addiction. I even gave a book away to a young man who is currently living in his car due to drug addiction. He stayed and talked with me for over an hour and I loved every minute of it!

Enough is enough when greed comes before needs!

I think if there was ever a time for the saying “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer” to be true it’s now. It’s simply a fact that oil companies and other big businesses are making money at a time when people are unemployed or if working, either have no chance of getting a much needed raise or have actually had their wages cut. I’m all for any company making a profit and have no problem with the people who worked hard to help make that profit be financially rewarded, but when I hear how huge some of these profits and rewards are, it makes me wonder just how justified it is when so many working people and their families are struggling just to make ends meet. Of course I realize many businesses even while also struggling still try and take care of their employees and that there are quite a few wealthy people who give back by donating money to various charities and helping the needy.  However, the average American is need of help too and many of them are beginning to lose hope that things will eventually be all right.  All I ask when it comes to how much money or material things anyone truly needs to have is,  “What’s not enough?”  Is making ten or fifteen million dollars a year not enough? Or is making fifty or sixty million and even more a year still not enough? Is having three homes not enough? Or is having five or six homes still not enough?  What about having enough cars?  Is four or five not enough?  Or is having a collection of cars you may never drive still not enough?  And how many pieces of expensive jewelery is not enough?  Again I know there are businesses out there who do take care of their employees and that there are many kindhearted wealthy people who understand the plight of the average American and want to help. But for some businesses and wealthy people, their greed is coming before peoples needs in this country and there doesn’t seem to be much we can do about it.  Maybe all we can do to help the situation is to keep trying be a better person than we were before. Continue to have hope everything will be all right even though it’s not. And believe as hard as we can that there is a reason for why things happen the way they do.  Although I promise to keep doing these things,I know like a lot of people out there,  I have surely had enough of the rich getting richer and the average American getting poorer!

Twelve Steps to help us “Believe in Ourselves”

1. Admitted that our fears, insecurities, and negative emotions made our lives miserable.

2. Came to believe that with the help of prayer, people, and hope we could overcome our fears and start to be happier in our lives.

3. Made a decision to try and believe in a creator that gave us the ability to be happy.

4. Took an honest look at our lives and what we needed to change about ourselves to be happy.

5. Talked openly and honestly with someone we trusted about things we regretted doing and the things we needed to change about ourselves.

6. Became ready to work on these changes and to start being a better person than we were before.

7. Started trying to be a better person than we were before and as a result began to like ourselves and feel happier.

8. Tried to grow spiritually to help us love ourselves.

9. Told people we have hurt that we are sorry unless it would cause more pain.

10. Continued to change what we needed to about ourselves and kept trying to grow spiritually.

11. Continued to use prayer and people to help us and give us guidance and reassurance in our lives.

12. Having grown more spiritual we began helping others and started to love ourselves enough to be happy with who we are.

Inspiration

Inspiration can be defined as “Divine guidance or influence exerted directly on the mind and soul of humankind.” Sometimes I find it without effort through things like tv shows, magazines, songs, and people.  And sometimes I need to look for it and believe I will receive it. The reason inspiration is so important to me is that it helps keep me grounded and not get caught up in all the negativity I can also sometimes find without effort or if I look for it. Finding inspiration each day should always be an important part of our lives, especially in a world that seems to have gone mad.  I know personally it can be hard at times for us to focus on the good and the positive in life, but part of the happiness I have today comes not only from the inspiration I find, but the faith I have today. Faith that there is more good in the world than there is bad. And faith in a creator I call God who will always be there to help us and to guide us if we look for it.

This is a recent song I heard on a tv show that definitely fills me with me inspiration.

Jack’s Mannequin “Swim”

Normalcy

It can make someone wonder why people follow the same dysfunctional patterns over and over again, but do to my own life, I can understand why this can happen.  Most times it’s because these people have only ever known one way of thinking, behaving, and reacting in life and never grew up emotionally. I became aware of some of my dysfunction in AA and although I didn’t fully realize it at the time, practicing The Twelve Steps helped me change my way of thinking, behaving, and how I reacted in life. The result of this was becoming a more spiritual and confident person then I was before and definitely a lot happier in life.  In my case this spiritual growth and what was really personal growth,  made me want to grow even more in both of these areas and as I did I began to see more and more how dysfunction not only effected me, but those around me.  Sure my emotional growth took some time to catch up, but eventually I became less fearful and insecure, and didn’t display the levels of negative emotions that I held onto for so long. I worried a lot less about things. Didn’t become nearly as angry about the stuff I use to. I began to have less times when I was down and sad about something.  And I certainly stopped pitying myself over any unwanted circumstances that happened.  I also stopped being around people who were dysfunctional and started having relationships with people who were more positive in life. All of this took a lot of time and much trial and error, but the pay off was always becoming happier in life. What is normalcy though? Well it depends. What one person thinks is normal can be quite different from what another person does.  One definition of normal that helps me understand it better though is this one.  “Free from mental illness;sane.” Because I have experienced the opposite in my life,  it’s all I need to know that I’m on the right track to the kind of normalcy that helps me continue to be happier in life then I was before.

My first book review

All the “non” coincidences that have happened in my life so far, especially throughout my sobriety, help me believe more than ever that there is  something that will guide us and give us reassurance in life if we search for it.  In my book I wrote how when ever there are unwanted circumstances in my life, I use the tools of prayer, people, and hope to help me get through them.  Recently on a day when not only were my current circumstances not the best, but my belief in a Creator I call God and myself wasn’t as strong as it usually is,  I once again used these three tools to help me. First I prayed for the guidance and reassurance I needed that day and then went to work feeling a little sad, but trying to believe as hard as I could that I would get what I prayed for.  Only a few hours later Traci showed up and after some small talk, I opened up about my book and my plans to go out and help others.  I also told her how I was feeling and when I no sooner finished telling her this, she looked at me and said she does book reviews and she would be glad to read my book and write a review of it on her blog.  Of course I realized she would need to like it for it to get a good review, but by then I had already developed a strong belief that I wrote a great book and knew she would like it. I truly believe this was just another of the many “non” coincidences that has happened in my life.  I want to thank Traci for her help. I also want to say to those who are currently going through tough times, that there is a reason for everything that happens in our life and even when we’re not sure why we’re going through some of the things we do, if we choose to, we can get through them and come out the other side with a stronger belief in ourselves.  I must add that unwanted circumstance are happening less in my life and this along with the “non” coincidences that continue to happen, make me believe more and more that there is a Creator that gave me the ability to be all right even when things aren’t.

You can read the review by clicking the link below.

http://tracitaylorbookreview.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-i-pray-in-shower.html

Identity

If you were to describe who you are in only a few words, how would you do so? Would you say you’re a loving parent or spouse? A nice person maybe. Or perhaps a hard worker?   Of course some of us would use other things to describe who we are and I would simply say I’m a good person, but this doesn’t describe all of who I am. While I am a good person I also consider myself to be all the other things I mentioned and even more. For example I am also a spiritual person. There are times however, when my behaviors contradicts who I say I am and this causes me to feel bad. Fortunately I have learned that this is ok as long as I’m aware of it and try harder to correct these types of behaviors. I don’t know of anyone who is always being who they say they are and this is also part of who we are. As far as my own life goes, not always being who I say I am helps me to see what I need to improve on to be a better father, husband, worker, and person,  and especially to realize how much more spiritual growth I need. So who are we?  It depends on who we want to be. Maybe if we keep it simple all we need to do is to keep trying to be a better person. Not better then other people. But better then we were before. I know this has helped me to also be a much happier person.

Negativity

“When it rain it pours.”  “That’s just my luck.”  “Why does this always happen to me?”  Do you or anyone you know say these things any time something goes wrong in life? Although saying statements like these may not seem like a big deal, studies have shown that we can actually cause continued negative events in our life as a result of it. No matter what you may believe to the contrary, negative and adverse things will  be a part of your life until you change not only what you say, but especially what you think. Our thoughts are more powerful then you might imagine and when you speak negative thoughts out loud it actually confirms that they’re true. It took me quite a few years and a lot of practice in my sobriety to fully be able to change my thoughts from negative ones to positive ones, but it was well worth the effort. Today I have very few problems in my life, but if I do experience some unwanted or adverse situation,  I use it as a chance to grow personally and spiritually. As I said though, it took a lot of time and practice to change how I think and even today there are times when I catch myself thinking negatively. Fortunately I have learned that stopping these negative thoughts and trying to find the positive in an adverse situation helps me live a happier and more useful life. A life that while certainly not perfect, is much better now then when I was drinking and creating a life that while not always lived in misery, sure seemed that way because of my negative thinking.